Child Temperament
An Inborn Trait

But All is Not Lost!

Child temperament appears to be cast in genetic stone. If you have more than one child, you probably would have noticed that they have different temperaments. Does that mean that you have to give up hope if you have a difficult child?

Certainly not! With the right parenting strategy, you can transform your roaring lion or timid rabbit into a contented cub. And that's what we are here for - to give you all the advice you need to raise happy, caring and resilient children. All our advice is based on research in Psychology.

Alexander Thomas, Stella Chess, and Herbert Birch conducted a study on child temperament - the New York Longitudinal Study (NYLS). They found that babies as young as a few months old have developed their own unique temperaments. Yes, it turns out that kids are not mass produced in a factory like Goodyear tires.

So what makes each child unique? Children differ in 9 personality characteristics or traits. When you add these characteristics together, you roughly get 3 kinds of temperaments.

Here are the 9 personality characteristics, written with a dash of humor to keep you awake. We shall, of course, get to the child temperaments later.

The 9 Personality Characteristics

Some kids never sit still. They were the fetuses that kicked their moms in their bellies. They are always running and have never heard of the word "walk". Rough and tumble play is what they love most. Football star, professional wrestler or pirate might be suitable career options.

Other kids are calm and very much less active. They don't mind quiet games such as chess and monopoly. They are so quiet that sometimes you even forget they exist! Think piano prodigy, chess grandmaster or philosopher. (Child temperament: easy)

2. Rhythmicity

Does your child eat, sleep, and eliminate like clockwork. They have regular cycles of activity. Angels, aren't they? (Child temperament: easy)

Their counterparts on the other end of the continuum have no proper cycles except for the trike in their playroom. They can get hungry at odd times of the day (or night). They are the ones who feel the urgent need to defecate when you are at a mall choosing an elegant diamond-studded gown to wear for your best friend's wedding. Lesson to be learned here? Bring your long-suffering spouse along when you go shopping.

3. Approach-withdrawal

Does your child scream bloody murder when an avuncular stranger tries to shake his hand? Does he spit out the fried frog's legs at the new Thai restaurant? Then he is the kind of person who hates new situations. Novelty is his nemesis.

On the other end of the continuum is the child who loves new people, places and things. He is the kind of person who will be delirious with delight if you announce that the whole family is going to shave their heads and live with the Masais in Africa for the next summer vacation.

4. Adaptability

Does your child like to stick to her daily routine? Does she adapt to changes in her life such as a new school or a new house without making a fuss? (Child temperament: easy)

5. Intensity of reaction

How does your child react to situations, both positive and negative? Does your child howl with laughter when you tell her a lame joke? Does she burst into inconsolable tears when Rover snatches her cookie? Does she get infuriated when her little brother paints a moustache on her Barbie doll?

The child on the opposite end of the spectrum is much calmer and would respond with a smile, whimper or feel mildly irked. A little Buddha. (Child temperament: easy)

6. Threshold of responsiveness

Bright lights, blaring sirens, itchy wooly shirts, soiled diapers - if your child is unfazed by all this, then he is just the opposite of the one who goes absolutely crazy by the drip drip drip of a leaky tap. Some kids sense every sight, sound, and touch. They wake up if a butterfly lands on their head. The opposites wouldn't know it if an irate gorilla was screaming in their ear.

7. Quality of mood

Is your child generally happy? Does she see things positively? Does she smile often? (Child temperament: easy)

Or is she generally unhappy with her lot in life and complains often? This has nothing to do with how rich you are, and how much pocket money or toys she gets.

8. Distractibility

Can your child read, play the piano or watch a movie even when there are distractions around her such as her little siblings playing noisily in the next room? Is she able to study when the TV is loud or when King Kong is stomping on the neighbor's house? (Child temperament: easy)

9. Attention span

Some children can read a book for more than an hour, or play quietly with their Lego set while you are cooking. They can patiently practice their piano for an hour even if they find it difficult. They don't give up easily. (Temperament: easy)

Others jump from one activity to the next like bees pollinating flowers. They are easily bored by what they are doing. They also give up an activity when it becomes challenging.

Child Temperament

There are 3 types of child temperament: easy (about 40%), slow-to-warm-up (about 15%), and difficult (about 10%). The rest (35%) don't fall into any category. They have a mix of personality characteristics.

Child temperament 1: Easy child

There are no marks for guessing what qualities an easy child has. If you have one, value her like gold. Here are her personality characteristics:

1. Activity level: calm
2. Rhythmicity: regular cycles
3. Approach-withdrawal: positive approach to novelty
4. Adaptability: Adjusts quickly
5. Intensity of reaction: less intense and not easily frustrated
6. Threshold of responsiveness: high
7. Quality of mood: happy
8. Distractibility: not easily distracted
9. Attention span: long

Child temperament 2: Slow-to-warm-up child

The slow-to-warm-up child is like an old Porsche that has been left lying idle in the garage for a month. It will take time for her to warm up, but after that she's fine. Needs empathy and encouragement from her parents. Here are her main personality characteristics. The characteristics that are left out vary with different children.

1. Activity level: usually calm
2. Rhythmicity: regular cycles
3. Approach-withdrawal: negative approach to novelty
4. Adaptability: negative or adjusts slowly

Child temperament 3: Difficult child

Difficult children are ... difficult. They may not be easy to live with but they can certainly be turned around with the right parenting approach. We will show you how (in excruciating detail) in our other parenting articles. Or this web page will be too long and you will never go to sleep tonight.

1. Activity level: intense
2. Rhythmicity: irregular cycles
3. Approach-withdrawal: negative approach to novelty
4. Adaptability: Adjusts slowly
5. Intensity of reaction: highly intense and easily frustrated
6. Threshold of responsiveness: low
7. Quality of mood: unhappy
8. Distractibility: easily distracted
9. Attention span: short

What kind of parenting style works best for my kids?

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