Different Parenting Styles: Permissive Parenting

Heading for Disaster

Not many people know that there are two types of permissive parenting. They are permissive-indulgent and permissive-disengaged parenting. The former is bad and the latter leads to the worst possible outcome for children. Let's look at the two poor parenting styles and the outcomes for the poor kids.

We will, of course, show you how to apply the best parenting style, authoritative parenting, in our other articles. That's what we are here for!

Permissive-indulgent Parenting

Permissive-indulgent parenting characteristics

Parents who practice permissive-indulgent parenting may believe that they are giving the best childhood experience to their children. They shower their kids with love and gifts. However, these parents don't expect their children to behave responsibly. Nor do they set age-appropriate goals and limits for their children.

As a result, children of these permissive parents soon become alpha dogs in their family. When these parents do step in occasionally to set limits, their children will resist as they are used to being the boss in the house. They may whine or throw tantrums until their parents eventually give in.

Permissive-indulgent parenting consequences on children

Brace yourself!

This type of permissive parenting leads to, perhaps you guessed it, spoiled children. These children can be pleasant and fun to be with as long as everything goes their way.

They generally are not compliant with adults. They also have difficulty feeling empathy for others as they are selfish and tend to put themselves first. They do not share. Nor are they considerate. They do not respect others.

They are demanding. They have learnt that their parents will buy them anything or do anything for them as long as they keep on whining or arguing or throwing temper tantrums. They are not satisfied with what they have but keep on asking for more toys, more games, more gadgets, more vacations, more pocket money etc.

Self-control is a big problem with them. If they think of something, it has to be done immediately. If they want a new mountain bike, they will want it today. They can't wait for weeks or months to get their desires fulfilled. This is a big problem in today's society as delayed gratification is the key to success. They grow up into working adults who won't save money. They won't make wise investment decisions or proper retirement planning. The moment they receive their salary they will splurge it on unnecessary wants (not needs).

Children of permissive parents don't set goals as it means that they have to work hard to attain them. You will rarely find these children setting a goal to earn enough money to buy a laptop or set a 6-month study schedule to ace their SATs.

These children also do not enjoy responsible activities. You won't find them baby-sitting their neighbor's toddler or helping out at a local charity. It is too much work and it requires putting the needs of others before themselves.

Sadly, they are also low in self-reliance. They do not help with the housework nor do they attempt to do anything that is expected of a child of their age. Their homework is usually done by their parents. And they give up easily when given anything challenging to do. They tend to look for the easy way out. In other words, they try to force others to get things done for them.

Children of permissive parents have been programmed to be lazy. They will have difficulty graduating from college. They are less likely than other kids to grow up into professionals who can handle heavy responsibilities. They may not become responsible spouses or parents when they grow up.

Not the kind of children anyone wants! If you see your kids heading in this direction, please don't worry. We are a free website dedicated to helping you become the perfect parent.

Permissive-disengaged Parenting

Permissive-disengaged parenting characteristics

The hallmark of this permissive parenting style is neglect. These parents ignore their kids most of the time. They are not interested in being there for their kids. They allow their children to do whatever they want. They do not set limits on their children or provide guidance. These parents don't teach their kids values. Nor do they teach them how to be responsible.

Arguably the worst characteristic of this poor parenting style is that children do not receive unconditional love from their parents. These parents may, in their own way, love their kids. However, they generally present a cold front to their their children. Therefore, there is very little attachment between parents and children.

Permissive-disengaged parenting consequences on children

Among the different parenting styles, this permissive parenting style has the worst effect on children. Perhaps it comes as no surprise to you.

These children are at high risk of emotional or behavioral problems. Because of the neglect and lack of love, these children can fall into depression and possibly, even have suicidal thoughts.

They have low self-esteem. They have no confidence in themselves. They believe that they are not capable of passing tests. Entering college may seem an impossible task for them.

They may become problem children and have difficulty regulating their behavior. Teachers and other adults in their life will have difficulty getting them to comply.

As they are not accepted by their parents, they have a strong need to form attachments with others. They may not be discriminating in their friends. Because of their strong need to be accepted by someone and because they have not learned any values from their parents, they may join the wrong crowd as a result. As long as they feel accepted they may become fiercely loyal to delinquents or even gangsters. Children of this kind of permissive parenting are also susceptible to alcohol or substance abuse.

This is the end of this article.

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